Hello! Do you still remember the very day we met? Do you still remember how innocent we acted towards each other while conceiling the emotions we habored for each other? Hey! Do you remember our first hug, our first kiss, our first ‘play’? What about the name calling, do you miss that? I hope you still remember the love and affection we shared? Do you remember the dark times where we both got broke and had to eat kenkey without fish for almost a week? The long distance of walking because there was no money for taxi. The outings, the romantic quarrels, these memories leave beam of smiles on my face. Unfortunately, all these good memories, even though I tried to keep alive, were short lived.
Oh sorry! I even forgot to greet you. How are you? I have missed you so much. How is Mommie doing? Tell her I have been thinking about her.
I have got something to tell you. The wound you left in my heart is still agonizing me. I try to heal and stay strong but I keep breaking down the more everytime I try. I can’t get you off my mind. I keep hoping that one one day you will return to me. You have gone for a while and I have waited enough but no sign of you returning. I have tried to let you be but I it’s so hard that is why I’m writing to you.
What I don’t understand is the reason why you suddenly changed towards me. We enjoyed the happy times. We endured and encouraged each other through our hard times. Why have you thrown all these into the bin. Was it because of my longing to always be around you which you mistook for surveillance? Was it because of my inability to get you gifts as some partners do? Or was I not enough for you?
You started acting cold towards me. Missing my calls became your habit. Returning my calls became a taboo in your life. You gave excuses to hang up when you rarely call. The worst part is when you ignore my messages even though you spent almost 21 hours in a day online. My late night calls became demons haunting you.
I spent almost 2 years in a bid to get us back to our good old days but my efforts proved futile. It appeared you never really meant all the heartwarming promises you made to me. I’m tempted to conclude you had a selfish mission you longed to achieve in my life. My value in your life diminished to nothing.
You said a lot that day, but this keeps reccuring in my mind “We each deserve better people in our lives. I deserve someone who will accept me as I am. You also deserve someone better than I am. One that will give you peace of mind. One that will return the love you offer them.” Why have you decided to let go all the plans we had? Why did you allow me to fall for you when you knew you were not ready to fall with me?
I accept the fact that I agreed to the idea for us to break up. I believe that the breakup was to our best. I believe that it granted you the space you have always desired from me. One that gave you unlimited freedom to explore the numerous victims on your list. I thought after we part ways, my eyes would no longer supply my cheeks and chest with needless water out of consistent late night cries, my pillow would know it’s purpose is to cushion my head and not dry my tears, my heart will go back to it’s normal beat and I may find someone who will genuinely reciprocate my love.
But now I know I was wrong. I go through these things the more. I still reject suitors hoping that you will return and take your place. You still occupy that special space you have always occupied. I still hope for the miracle of you returning to mend the heart you broke. You are physically absent from my life, but emotionally, you are with me always. Your absence, like the blood of the matyrs, reinforces my love for you.
At least, tell me, do you even think about me sometimes? See, my heart goes like bum bum when I think about you. Even when I’m eating, sleepy, waking up, I think about you because I miss you.
As long as you are happy without me, I’ll endure the hurt I’m going through. I can’t let out of my mind the memories I have of you. Even though it hurts to remember these memories, i will continue to love you today, tomorrow and everyday. And I want you to know I’m still here hoping for you return.
I miss you