The hardest promises to keep are the ones we make to our own selves. Even though I have broken many of such promises, I make efforts towards achieving them. But this particular promise was dead before birth, a stillborn promise.
I moved to my place of posting as a nurse barely 2weeks now. Before I left home for my new station, my family cautioned me against making toxic friends. I understood their worry. I have heard rumors about how morally corrupt most youths in that community are.
To pledge to the fulfilment of being of good behavior in my new environment, I took a vow not to build any special bond with anyone, especially with the opposite sex. I was however not aloof physically but emotionally. I made a few friends among my colleague nurses but that survived within the confines of the hospital where we work.
Everything was moving as planned until events started taking their own direction. It all started on the first day of orientation of the new nurses. Since it was break time, everyone but me walked in two’s or three’s either towards a restaurant or a summer but to relax. I remained in the conference room with my ever loving friend, my physically disfigured techno phone.
”Hi there”, I raised my head as I heard a soothing voice. The sight my eyes met was one to behold. A fair handsome sleeky guy standing akimbo before me. “Hi”, I responded in a rather bossy but shy tone.
“I’m Murvin, what about you?”, he asked. I am Mikayla, Kayla preferably.” Let’s go for lunch”
He said, stretching his hand to get mine.
In my mind it was a straight No but I could hear my heart whisper “Kayla what are you waiting for?” (I think like the manhood, the heart has its own brain that thinks differently from the carrier.) I returned the infectious smile on his face and placed my hand in his. (I know what you’re thinking, Aa..fah!)
That lunch as tantamount to the Lord’s supper. It was full of instructions and promises. Morvee did the talking and I listened like the disciples. It was however short lived as the break time was soon over. I reluctantly walked to the conference room like a child that has been sent by a guy to call his sister. The second session of the orientation was as boring as The Standpoint on GTV. Minutes were like weeks to me. Any speaker who spoke more than 2 minutes immediately became my enemy. Murvin was waiting to see me before he leaves for the house.
The night was not one of my usual boring nights. Morvee and I spoke on phone close to three hours. (You’re wondering what we’re talking about eerr, I don’t also know) We soon bonded and he felt comfortable telling me a lot about himself. We cracked jokes and laughed and had some romantic quarrels too. (Yes, romantic quarrels). This continued for days and by this time, I had forgotten I made a vow not to get too attached to anyone. Anytime my mind reminds me of the promise, I get angry at it. My heart became my friend as it was always telling me what I wanted to hear.
Murvin clearly liked me but from the look of things, he was shy to say it to me. He always introduced me to his friends as his crush and we all laughed over it. But between the two of us, we knew he meant it. Well, but if it’s daybreak and the cock is refusing to crow, it remains locked. The same way I was waiting for Morevee to open up though I could feel I was falling for him.
Murvin worked at the pharmacy and anytime I close, I wait for him to close also. We normally hang around before we both go home. My weekends became like picnic days.
But my mind and heart once again began reasoning together. I began to feel differently about Murvin. This was because all our conversations were always based on naughty topics. Clearly, that was always his interest point. If it’s not about bedroom styles, it’s about the craziest porn sites. I was beginning to get disappointed. Murvin looked so innocent at face level. He would always talk about how seductive I look, walk, talk and even eat. He never missed any opportunity to touch me abusively. In my head, I concluded Murvin was a Hit and Run guy. I was so disappointed. I didn’t want to play games with him. He didn’t know that talk is cheap. On this phone call, he started talking naughty and
and before I knew what was happening, Morvee was moaning. Confusion engulfed me as I waited for the moaning to subdue. Your guess is as good as mine. He was masturbating while speaking with me. He didn’t feel bad telling me about his naughty exploits. He told me everything about it and other crazy things he does. What shocked me most was the Murvin felt proud about his lifestyle. He found nothing wrong with masturbating, one-night stands, having multiple ladies, drinking, add the rest.
I was broken at this point. He didn’t even care about how I felt. He betrayed my feelings for him. I looked so stupid on the phone. I went dumb at once not knowing what to say next. But once you are in love, you behave like a mumu. I should have ended everything there but I didn’t. I thought I had the power of God to change so my heart was at play again, I said he might change if I talk to him. To my outmost surprise, Murvin said he can’t and won’t change because he’s enjoying the life he’s living.
I ended the call and was left alone with my thoughts. My mind went blank. I had not given my heart to him but it was already broken. The worst of all was the little things that happened between us. I wish I could ‘unkiss’, ‘unhug’, ‘unmiss’ and ‘unpeck’ him. Because of him, I have broken a promise that was yet to see the light of the day. I have killed the love that was blossoming in my heart. I have betrayed the intelligence of my mind.
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from this experience, it is to use the motion of a snail into loving someone. Looks are deceitful. Rushing into love will only lead to crashes. Like my phone, I have been crashed beyond repairs because of unmerited love.